I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHTI couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHTExperience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
STEVEN WRIGHTHow do you get off a non-stop flight?
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
STEVEN WRIGHTI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTI installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHTTell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHTNo one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHTFor my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHTI almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT