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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’

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Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman

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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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