Clones are people two.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT