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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

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Memories Myself Past Thinking

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Alphabet Order Song
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Appointment Dental Eat Herself Time Visit Wait
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Lost Myself Place Thinking
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Memories Myself Past Thinking
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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Attention Believe Himself Myself Sick
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Coffee Myself Time
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Bad Conscience Memories
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
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Animal Dog Himself Myself Return
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Forget Myself Right Thinking Time
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Bill Country Freedom Funny Phone Talk
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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Conscience Funny Sleep Time
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
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Age Anxiety Funny Myself Time

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