I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhy isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
STEVEN WRIGHT