I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTINYou can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTIN