It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTINYou can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
STEVE MARTIN






