I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTINI will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTINI believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
STEVE MARTINChaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTINWith comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTINI was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
STEVE MARTINI’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTINI love money. I love everything about it.
STEVE MARTINBe so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTINYou can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTINIt’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTINNow let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTINBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTINDinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTINThere is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTINThankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN