You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTINYou know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
STEVE MARTINFirst the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINWith comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTINSome nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
STEVE MARTINActing has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
STEVE MARTINI just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
STEVE MARTINYou can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTINWhen I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTINA father carries pictures where his money used to be.
STEVE MARTINDespite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
STEVE MARTINChaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTINI will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
STEVE MARTINThere’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTINI could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
STEVE MARTINThankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN