I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTINBe so good they can’t ignore you.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
STEVE MARTIN