I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTINI believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
STEVE MARTIN