I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTINI believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN






