A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
STEVE MARTINI believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN