black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.

Ron White

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITE

Go Hammer Me Out Truth
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
RON WHITE

Come Communication Honest Matter Positive Relationship
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE

All Record Country Flip Had People Went
The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
RON WHITE

Fascinate First Football Game Hand Imagine Life Listen Made Syllable Talk Thing
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE

Blue Fine Just Like Material Mother
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE

Beg Comedian Famous More Tend Universe
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Friend Joke Some World Write
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITE

Few Good Married Time
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Always Been Century Comic More Other Play Quater Time
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Crew Everybody Knew Least Order Pack Popular
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ron White Quotes