The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITEPeople are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
More Ron White Quotes
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE