There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITEMy shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
More Ron White Quotes
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE