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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.

Ron White

Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
RON WHITE

Come Face Happen Let Lot Material More Road Stuff
I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
RON WHITE

Back Brave Consider Honor However Inctredinly Many Men Privilege Sacrifice Women
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE

Cigar Collection Go Great Imply Last Smoke
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
RON WHITE

Been Comedian Consider Fun Good Peer Sure
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Dies Ever Listen More Old Realy Understood
There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
RON WHITE

Demon Life Run Time Ton Vice Year
If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
RON WHITE

Club Comedy Devote Doing Guest Mic Open Stuff Theatre Try
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Great Live Lot Rock Sound Star Travel
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bad Believe Better Bowl Game Halftime Show Socer Super
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Drop Education Reason Surplus Think
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
RON WHITE

Diamond Minute Shut

There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.

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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.

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Popular Authors

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