You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITEYou can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITEI had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITEWe always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITEMy opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITEI’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITEI could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITEI believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITEMy life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITEI’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITEI was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITEThere’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITEI was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
RON WHITEI love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITEMy shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITEDonald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITEIf you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE