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Comedy is all about the pause.

Ron White

I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITE

All Material Me Write
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Act Always Big Crowd Do Easy Open Strong To
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
RON WHITE

Fun Have Mouth See Someone Word
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Come Comedy Little Rougher See Tour Watch
I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE

Ask Band Guy Monkey Rock Understand Venue
There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
RON WHITE

Act Backlog Exist Fire People Reason
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE

Become Better Comedian Goal Just
All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Friend Joke Some World Write
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITE

Go Hammer Me Out Truth
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent

Comedy is all about the pause.

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Comedy is all about the pause.

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