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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

All Life Pick Pocket Sex

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bath Hate Parent Radio Toast Toy
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Everyone Fruit Hear Met Morning Ridiculous Underwear Yet
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Dentist Go Teeth Tie Told Wear Yellow
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Everyone Fruit Laugh Loom Met Morning Underwear
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Crazy Opinion Psychiatrist Said Second
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Halloween Kind Life Look Parent Sent
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want

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