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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

All Life Pick Pocket Sex

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Father Finger Kidnap More Piece Proof Remember Sent Time Want
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Everyone Fruit Hear Met Morning Ridiculous Underwear Yet
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bee Butcher Kid Told Wife
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Being Do Draw Men Most Thing Told Wage
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife

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