If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
-
-
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Life is just a bowl of pits.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD