Humour Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Humour with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Humour quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Dead Funny Humour People
Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.
ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

Harm Humour Inspirational Work
You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Alarm Clock Funny Humour One Liner Success
Never be bored, and you will never be boring.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Bore Deep Humour One Liner
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Contest Humour Man Sarcastic
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Eternity Humour Injury Kill Time Wisdom
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
VIRGINIA WOOLF

Foreign Gift Humour Tongue Travel
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Atatch Clothes Dog Dress Fashion Humour Reason Respect
Animals are my friends and I don’t eat my friends.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Animal Eat Friendship Funny Humour Vegetarian
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
OSCAR WILDE

Exercise Funny Humour Respect World Youth
Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.
DALAI LAMA

Break Funny Humour Inspirational One Liner Rules
If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn’t show up.
DR. SEUSS

Character Dinner Humour Invitation Party Show
The world belongs to those who set out to conquer it armed with self confidence and good humor.
CHARLES DICKENS

Confidence Goodness Humour World
I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Atheist God Humour One Liner Religion
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Bomb Humour Kill Weapon Woman
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Attitude Humour Lying Myself Reason Truth
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
JANE AUSTEN

Chance Funny Happiness Humour Marriage
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

Forget Humour Inspirational Legal
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Humour Read Room Television
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny House Humour Place Stuff
Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Flatter Humour Rose
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN

Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
I was the first woman to burn my bra – it took the fire department four days to put it out.
DOLLY PARTON

Bra Burn Department Fire Humour Sarcastic Woman
Calling someone who trades actively in the market an investor is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a romantic.
WARREN BUFFETT

Business Engagement Humour Investment Market Patience Trade
Do I really want to be integrated into a burning house?
JAMES BALDWIN

Burn Funny House Humour Integrated
Making a decision to write was a lot like deciding to jump into a frozen lake.
MAYA ANGELOU

Decision Frozen Funny Humour Jump Lake Writing

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