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You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Rowan Atkinson

The one thing I would never wish it to be thought is that you play serious roles in order to achieve some sort of respectability which you can’t if you’re playing comedic roles.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Achievement Comedy Play Respect Role Serious
Marketing is what gets you noticed, and that side of it something – this side of it, if you like, doing interviews – is the side of it that I least enjoy, and yet is 50% of the project.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Enjoyment Interview Market Notice Project
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Barber Funny Humour Sarcastic Service
The arts community still has a long lasting cynicism of the importance, or the artistic value, of comedy. Comedy is just farting about for money.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Art Comedy Community Importance Money Value
I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Different Express Inclination Myself Performance Want
Nope, I don’t enjoy work generally. Not because I’m lazy; it’s just all so stressful and worrying.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Enjoyment Lazy Stress Work Worry
I would never wish to say that I’ve finally waved goodbye to any character, it’s just that the emphasis tends to shift.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Character Emphasis Goodbye Shift Wave
I mean I can do it when I’m very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Amuse Friendship Relax Thinking
But generally speaking, I tend to be quiet and introspective.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Introspective Quiet Tend
For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Fantastic Joke Praise Quite Religious Ridiculous
If you get the quality right, then the marketability or whatever; your ability to sell videos or your ability to earn money or whatever, will follow naturally.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Ability Earn Market Money Natural Quality Right Sell
I have always worried about things more than I should.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Human Nature Worry
Apart from the fact that your physical ability starts to decline, I also think someone in their fifties being childlike becomes a little sad. You’ve got to be careful.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Children Decline Face Physical Sad
Marketing is what gets you noticed.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Market Notice One Liner
I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Comedy Consideration Myself Physical Visual
Don’t get too much emotionally attached to anyone.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Attachment Break Up Broken Heart Emotional Relationship
It’s a bit disconcerting being treated like Madonna.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Cause Treatment
Enjoy your own company instead of expecting someone else make you happy.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Company Deep Enjoyment Expectation Happiness Inspirational
I tend to play rather odd men. People that are slightly odd or eccentric, or have a more particular attitude to life.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Actor Attitude Particular People Play
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Amuse Comics Funny Happen Natural Need Thinking
I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Bill Cheese Enormous Mouse Poor Tax Wife
The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Alternative Criticism Insult Problem Sarcastic
I’m certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Ambition Aware Minimalism Sophistication Suppress
I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there’s a gas bill tied to it.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Discover Film Finding Funny Gas Neck Sarcastic
When I was doing Bean more than I’ve done him in the last few years, I did strange things – like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Appearance Character Chat Done Show Strange
I have always regarded Mr. Bean as a timeless, ageless character, and I would rather he be remembered as a character mostly in his 30s and 40s.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Age Character Regard Remember Time
A law which attempts to say you can criticize and ridicule ideas as long as they are not religious ideas is a very peculiar law indeed.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Attempt Criticism Ideas Indeed Law Religious Ridiculous

You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

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You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

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