Humour Quotes

Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.