Humor Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Humor with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Humor quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.
LOU HOLTZ

Good Have Humor Mood Often Problem Sense Use Very
Ireland has never been more beautiful – the perfect setting for this story filled with humor, hope and possibility.
ADRIANA TRIGIANI

Beautiful Country Filled Hope Humor Perfect Possibility Setting Story
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, “this is not a library!” “OK! I will talk louder, then!”
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Library Reading
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Humor Husband Marriage Myself
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
AGNES REPPLIER

Distort Earthly Funny Humor Pedestal Women
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
TINA FEY

Cast Celebrity Country Funny Guy Humor Movie Play Report Role Small Walk Wife Women
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Music
A fart is just your arse applauding.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Arses Funny Humor
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
Humor brings insight and tolerance.
AGNES REPPLIER

Event Humor Insight Ironic Tolerance
Old florists never die. They just make other arrangements.
BARBARA JOHNSON

Arrangement Dies Humor
There is a collective as well as an individual humor inclining peoples to sadness or cheerfulness, making them see things in bright or somber lights. In fact, only society can pass a collective opinion on the value of human life; for this the individual is incompetent.
EMILE DURKHEIM

Collection Compatible Humor People Psychology Sadness Science Society
The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
ADAM FERRARA

Born Change Constant Decay Fall Funny Humor Minute State
Most people thought I was a dork. But if you have a sense of humor about it, no one can bring you down.
ZAC EFRON

Bring Dark Down Humor Mist No One People Sense Through
I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARA

Every Funny Hour Humor Like Magazine Man Three
Humor hardens the heart, at least to the point of sanity.
AGNES REPPLIER

Harden Heart Humor Sanity
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Two
Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival.
AUNG SAN SUU KYI

Best Humor Ingredient Survival
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Missing
Humor is the healthy way of feeling “distance” between one’s self and the problem, a way of standing off and looking at one’s problem with perspective.
ROLLO MAY

Distance Feel Healthy Humor Look Perspective Problem Self Stand Way
Here’s a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.
MITCH HEDBERG

Air Funny Humor Problem
Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES

Funny Genius Humor One Liner
Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Develop Excercise Humor Just Kid Mak Planter Sense Tease
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Humor Meet Mial Order Perfect Think Thinking Woman
I think we’ve missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro… to catch whatever it is that’s forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it’s a bit of a long shot.
BILL BAILEY

Corresponding Funny Humor Long Thinking
I understand from those who adore him, he [Julian Assange] has a great sense of humor which rarely gets an airing because he’s dealing with such serious issues.
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

Humor Issues Sense Serious
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor

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