Humor Quotes

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.

I don’t wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

Wit and humor belong to genius alone.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

People who know me , they know I have a sense of humor, I’m a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy.

I consider myself something of a raconteur. I have a rather audacious sense of humour.

Why are there no “during” pictures?

I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. “Tom’s gone!” “Is he a magician?” “No.” “Then let’s print up some flyers!”