Humor Quotes

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.

I don’t wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

Wit and humor belong to genius alone.

I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.

People who know me , they know I have a sense of humor, I’m a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy.

Why are there no “during” pictures?

I consider myself something of a raconteur. I have a rather audacious sense of humour.

I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. “Tom’s gone!” “Is he a magician?” “No.” “Then let’s print up some flyers!”