I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg Fight any instinct to be humorless, for humorlessness is the worst of all absurdities.
Jean CocteauJean Cocteau Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
Lily TomlinLily Tomlin When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
Lily TomlinLily Tomlin I’ve never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg God displayed a sense of humor when he configured the region between our legs an entertainment complex built around a sewage system.
Neil deGrasse TysonNeil deGrasse Tyson A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds, it makes ice.
HomerHomer Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
T. S. EliotT. S. Eliot Life is a journey through the sea between the Islands of birth and success.
AurthurAurthur There are times when god speaks. You might not hear the words, but you’ll see. You’ll see.
Sonya TeclaiSonya Teclai For in the wild I feel the safest where the thorns of the invisible hand can not prick me.
Raha ArazRaha Araz I tried to write you something uplifting but I could only see grey.
Carmen AmadosCarmen Amados I want to spend the rest of my coffee’s with you.
Jessica PickardJessica Pickard Never again will I give, give myself to those who refuse to see my fire.
TMCTMC
Created by Minimalist Quotes