When you put Listerine in your mouth, it hurts. Germs do not go quietly.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch HedbergMitch Hedberg If I’d been in a school play, I’d probably have sneezed and messed everything up.
Millie Bobby BrownMillie Bobby Brown I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m funny, but not kind of funny. It’s a weird funny, and some people don’t get me, and some people do.
Millie Bobby BrownMillie Bobby Brown Sugar free? With the name Sugarpova I don’t think I will be doing anything sugar free very soon.
Maria SharapovaMaria Sharapova It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. MenckenH. L. Mencken If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Steven WrightSteven Wright Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
Alfred HitchcockAlfred Hitchcock Face your problems! Unless your problem is your face.
PewDiePiePewDiePie Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
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