Funny Quotes

Sometimes, I must admit, I’d like to have a second guitarist onstage with me, but it wouldn’t look right. I’d like to play for another 20 years, but I don’t know. I just can’t see it happening. I don’t know why. It’s a certain foreboding. A funny feeling. Vultures.

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

I didn’t do school plays… I’ve never done a play in my life, actually. Not even a nativity. If I’d been in a school play, I’d probably have sneezed and messed everything up.

Don’t gobblefunk around with words.

Shah Rukh is not my girlfriend that I should remember him. When I don’t remember my past girlfriends, what will I remember Shah Rukh for?

Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.

I’m Serena Williams on the court, but away I have so many different names. I call myself Butterfly.

Picasso said that everything is a miracle, that it’s a miracle that we don’t dissolve in our baths.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.