“Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.”

I’m afraid of the skeletons in my closet. I’ve got a whole cemetery full of them.

I’m not paid to be a role model, parents should be role models.

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said ‘Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.’ And I said, ‘Mom, I’m rich.’

I know I’m never as good or bad as one single performance. I’ve never believed in my critics or my worshippers, and I’ve always been able to leave the game at the arena.

I just thank God for Dennis [Rodman], cause he makes me look like a saint.

Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white.

When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out.

When you read the book you see that these guys aren’t holding any punches. They’re straightforward. They’re honest. They’re giving you their honest opinion.

I have nothing against old people; I want to be one myself one day.

I don’t worry about playing basketball; that comes natural. I just want to have fun.

You can talk without saying a thing. I don’t ever want to be that type of person.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they’re still poor.

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.

I wanted to become a better Snoop Dogg, full of water, proteins and stuff to keep me alive. Lollipops and Big Macs.

I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.

You don’t love me, you just love my doggystyle.

I don’t want to know I’m getting older. Then I’ll start to think about getting checkups and insurance. I don’t want that.

There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

It’s a funny thing… but people mostly have it backward. They think they live by what they want. But really, what guides them is what they’re afraid of. What they don’t want.

I was thinking about naming my child Kanye.

When I’m not longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.