Topic
Funny Quotes
900 quotes
Short funny quotes from writers, poets and thinkers. Copy one, share it, or download it as an image.
My kids are no different than anyone else’s – they tend to disagree with everything I say!
Wayne GretzkyWayne Gretzky Good wine is a necessity of life for me.
Thomas JeffersonThomas Jefferson Happiness, at my age, is breathing
Joan RiversJoan Rivers I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma BombeckErma Bombeck Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven WrightSteven Wright It never hurts to have friends around, so that’s why you’d form a crew.
Neil ArmstrongNeil Armstrong I’m not funny. What I am is brave.
Lucille BallLucille Ball If you ask that question again ma’am, I will have to ask you your age.
Shahrukh KhanShahrukh Khan The good Lord added an extra dash of forehead when making me.
Sonya TeclaiSonya Teclai The nicest veterans, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who’d really fought.
Kurt VonnegutKurt Vonnegut - Next pagePage 71 of 90
- All Funny quotesFrom the first page
- Share your own quotePublished with your name
- Browse all topicsA to Z
- Authors A–Z4,496 authors
- Wishes for every occasionBirthday, good morning, new year