Never make a decision when you need to pee.
Leonard CohenLeonard Cohen Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Tim AllenTim Allen Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
Ambrose BierceAmbrose Bierce Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
Michael CaineMichael Caine There is nothing so good as a burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.
Alfred HitchcockAlfred Hitchcock Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
Tim AllenTim Allen You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.
Bob NewhartBob Newhart Anyone who is funny and doesn’t take herself to seriously is attractive to me
Niall HoranNiall Horan I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
Tim AllenTim Allen Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result.
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