Funny Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Funny with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Funny quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.
AUDREY HEPBURN

Fashion Funny Help Make Up Pretty Ugly
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN

Alcohol Book Funny Genius Water Wine Writing
The world’s most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice.
CHETAN BHAGAT

Advice Easy Funny World
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
NIKOLA TESLA

Funny Invention Marriage Men Thinking
If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Funny Intense Negotiate War Women
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKEN

Fools Funny Himself Man Marriage
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN

Crazy Funny Humour Men Reason Stupidity Women
Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

Funny Happiness Inspirational Money
Eat to live, don’t live to eat.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Deep Eat Funny Humour Live One Liner
The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves.
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA

Funny History Inspirational Men Success
I learnt very early in life that whenever there is a choice between peace of mind and piece of ass, go for the former.
SHAHRUKH KHAN

Choice Early Funny Learning Life Mindset Myself Peace Relationship Sex
It’s true drinkin will kill ya, but if you’re drunk you don’t care.
POST MALONE

Alcohol Care Funny Kill
Accidentally consumed five biscuits when I wasn’t paying attention. Those biscuits are wily fellows – they leap in like sugary ninjas.
CHARLES DICKENS

Attention Food Funny Ignorance Pay
As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.
LAO TZU

Funny Laugh One Liner
Happiness is a small house, with a big kitchen.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK

Funny Happiness
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
NORM MACDONALD

Afraid Dog Funny Identity Myself Reality Worry
Einstein, stop telling God what to do!
NIELS BOHR

Funny God One Liner
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
SIGMUND FREUD

Ears Funny Listen Marriage Wife Women
I make my protein drink with whiskey. People think I’m crazy, but that’s the way I am. I get stoned, I do my own thing.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

Alcohol Funny Gymnastic Whisky
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
ZIG ZIGLAR

Bathing Funny Humour Motivational People Recommend
The missed call and call back drama between men and women deserves its own user mannual.
CHETAN BHAGAT

Call Deserve Drama Funny Man Marriage Missing Relationship Woman
Marriage is the union of two divinities that a third might be born on earth.
KHALIL GIBRAN

Born Earth Funny Marriage Union
That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
JOE ROGAN

Funny Goal Goodness Myself People Time
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
VINCE LOMBARDI

Dictionary Funny Humour Inspirational Success Work
My worst habit is getting naked all the time haha…sorry.
HARRY STYLES

Funny Habit Naked Sarcastic Sorry Worst
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK

Cut Funny Myself Perfection
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bad Funny Humour Intention Philosophy Positive

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