Comedian Quotes

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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Host Mentality Situations Thinking
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
Whatever talent I had, I’m sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.
BEN STILLER

Comedian Directors Parent
I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I’m OK, but that’s about it. I like to think I’m good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
BO BURNHAM

Actors Comedian Enough Good Thinking
I wanted to be in Jim Carrey comedy movies before I met him. I wanted to be a comedian on Stage 19, yukking it up.
JENNY MCCARTHY

Comedian Comedy
I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Knows Limitation Politician
I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don’t feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It’s worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian People Thinking
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
For aspiring comedians? Don’t listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
BILL BURR

Comedian Goes Thinking
The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Roles Starts Waiting
If you like standup and decide that it’s overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.
ADAM DEVINE

Comedian Decision Hate Life Overtaking Show Standup
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE

Beg Comedian Famous More Tend Universe
A comedian’s body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
BOBBY DARIN

Comedian Funny Mind
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Menus
Whenever I go on a show with a comedian I just counter punch.
BILL O'REILLY

Comedian Goes Shows
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY

Advice Comedian Doing Learn Male Truth
I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feet Thinking
It is better to look good than to feel good.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feel Good Looks
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Issues
Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Comedian Teenage Yourself
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian Fate Seriously Taken Terrible
Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Statements True
Everyone knows I’m just a big, good-natured slob.
BING CROSBY

Abilities Bigs Comedian Knows
I’m a light comedienne, that’s really where I live the most often.
BETH BRODERICK

Comedian Light Most

Comedian Quotes

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