“I’m a light comedienne, that’s really where I live the most often.”

I cannot imagine a worse job than being president of these Untied States in these most trying of times. President Barack Obama has been under siege from every side for the entirety of his time in office.

I love voting day. I love the sight of my fellow citizens lining up to make their voices heard.

Bill Clinton was relentless, eloquent and truly charming.

There was a time when I was enamored of the Clintons. I knocked on doors, phone-banked and rallied during his campaign.

I was a total nerd growing up. I’d rather sit home and read a novel on New Year’s Eve and say, ‘Wow, I read the whole thing in one night!’ That was my idea of a big time.

There’s a danger in Hollywood of becoming self-obsessed.

I used to do theater in L.A., but it got to the point where everything was really showcase-y.

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.

For aspiring comedians? Don’t listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

Whatever talent I had, I’m sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.

I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.

I don’t defend what a comedian might say but I defend to the death his right to say it.