50+ Joseph Heller Quotes (Catch-22)

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Bad Luck Destiny Injustice
The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
JOSEPH HELLER

Villain
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
JOSEPH HELLER

Trouble Writer Writing
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
JOSEPH HELLER

Adjective Adverb Death Declare Hands
There is no disappointment so numbing as someone no better than you achieving more.
JOSEPH HELLER

Achievement Disappointment Numb
Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
JOSEPH HELLER

Deserve Fun Leadership Work
She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
JOSEPH HELLER

Epitome She Smile Sorrow Time
I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
JOSEPH HELLER

Freedom Live Strong
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
JOSEPH HELLER

Air Exercise Fresh Meet Opportunity People Prostitution Trouble
What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER

Rain Wet
He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
JOSEPH HELLER

Attempt Die Forever Live Man
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
JOSEPH HELLER

Bulling Difficult Drug Endurance Failure Meditation Success Suicide
When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
JOSEPH HELLER

Disagree Objective Urge
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dreams Night
Insanity is contagious.
JOSEPH HELLER

Contagious Insane One Liner
Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
JOSEPH HELLER

Broken Heart Die Old
Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Job Principle Quit Regret
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ashame Failure Trick
Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
JOSEPH HELLER

Drive Live Packet
It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dead Difference War Win
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER

Goodness History Moral Teaching
Rise above principal and do what’s right.
JOSEPH HELLER

Inspirational One Liner Principle Right Rise
I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
JOSEPH HELLER

Life Negative Responsiblity Run Save
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Boy Grow Up Little
For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enough Expensive Peace War
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
JOSEPH HELLER

Accident Failure Predict
The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enemy Kill War

Joseph Heller Quotes

Famous Author