He was never without misery, and never without hope.
JOSEPH HELLERProstitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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Insanity is contagious.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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I wouldn’t want to live without strong misgivings.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER