But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
JOSEPH HELLERWhat do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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Insanity is contagious.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
JOSEPH HELLER -
What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER -
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
JOSEPH HELLER -
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
JOSEPH HELLER -
Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
JOSEPH HELLER -
Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
JOSEPH HELLER -
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
JOSEPH HELLER -
They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
JOSEPH HELLER