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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

Joseph Heller

I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Imagination Mercy Process Understand
While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Deal Greatness Important Work
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ashame Failure Trick
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Bad Luck Destiny Injustice
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
JOSEPH HELLER

Accident Failure Predict
It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dead Difference War Win
He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enjoyment Except Literature
Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
JOSEPH HELLER

Government Industry Private Togetherness
He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
JOSEPH HELLER

Attempt Die Forever Live Man
All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
JOSEPH HELLER

Book Conflict Deal Fashion Opinion Rude Subject
But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
JOSEPH HELLER

Children Favor Influence Liberation Parents War
Insanity is contagious.
JOSEPH HELLER

Contagious Insane One Liner
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dreams Night
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody
JOSEPH HELLER

Lack Self Made Success
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
JOSEPH HELLER

Goodness History Moral Teaching
Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
JOSEPH HELLER

Deep Mad Medal Men Reward
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
JOSEPH HELLER

Air Exercise Fresh Meet Opportunity People Prostitution Trouble
They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
JOSEPH HELLER

Agree Education Necessary People Possible Question
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Country Dare Exercise Freedom Independence Traditonal
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Country Crazy Executive Scare
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ignorance Law Mind Nature Paranoid Promote
I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
JOSEPH HELLER

Broken Heart Miracle Time
She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
JOSEPH HELLER

Epitome She Smile Sorrow Time
Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
JOSEPH HELLER

Drive Live Packet
When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
JOSEPH HELLER

Disagree Objective Urge
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
JOSEPH HELLER

Adjective Adverb Death Declare Hands
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Boy Grow Up Little

In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.

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