The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
JOSEPH HELLERIn the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
JOSEPH HELLER