Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
JOSEPH HELLERI don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
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Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
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She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
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I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
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Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
JOSEPH HELLER