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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.

Joseph Heller

Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
JOSEPH HELLER

Adjective Adverb Death Declare Hands
Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
JOSEPH HELLER

Government Industry Private Togetherness
You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ashame Failure Trick
She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
JOSEPH HELLER

Epitome She Smile Sorrow Time
Insanity is contagious.
JOSEPH HELLER

Contagious Insane One Liner
When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Boy Grow Up Little
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
JOSEPH HELLER

Bulling Difficult Drug Endurance Failure Meditation Success Suicide
The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
JOSEPH HELLER

Villain
Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
JOSEPH HELLER

Deep Mad Medal Men Reward
Rise above principal and do what’s right.
JOSEPH HELLER

Inspirational One Liner Principle Right Rise
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Ignorance Law Mind Nature Paranoid Promote
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
JOSEPH HELLER

Country Dare Exercise Freedom Independence Traditonal
Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
JOSEPH HELLER

Alive Death Die Furious Life
It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
JOSEPH HELLER

Dead Difference War Win
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
JOSEPH HELLER

Country Crazy Executive Scare
I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
JOSEPH HELLER

Life Negative Responsiblity Run Save
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
JOSEPH HELLER

Accident Failure Predict
Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
JOSEPH HELLER

Born Innocence
Never quit a job as a matter of principle. You’ll always regret it.
JOSEPH HELLER

Job Principle Quit Regret
For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
JOSEPH HELLER

Enough Expensive Peace War
Every writer I know has trouble writing.
JOSEPH HELLER

Trouble Writer Writing
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JOSEPH HELLER

Acceptance Bad Luck Destiny Injustice
They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
JOSEPH HELLER

Agree Education Necessary People Possible Question
What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
JOSEPH HELLER

Rain Wet
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
JOSEPH HELLER

Mad Paranoid
But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
JOSEPH HELLER

Children Favor Influence Liberation Parents War
Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
JOSEPH HELLER

Drive Live Packet

I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.

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I’ve only had four ideas for a novel in my life, and I’ve written all of them.

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