You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALDScientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD