I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALDThe standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD -
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD -
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD -
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD -
Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
NORM MACDONALD -
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD -
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD -
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
NORM MACDONALD -
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALD -
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD -
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD -
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
NORM MACDONALD -
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD -
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD -
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
NORM MACDONALD