When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALDThe standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD






