black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

Norm MacDonald

This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD

Compliment Confidence Friendship Greatness Young
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD

Choice Deep Enemy Love Philosophy
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALD

Death Life Money Myself People Thinking Try
If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
NORM MACDONALD

Desire Praise Yourself
A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALD

Commitment Display Excuse Mistake
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
NORM MACDONALD

Correct Discover Improvement Mistake Yourself
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALD

Condition Deserve Misfortune Ourselves
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD

Difference Fight Fun Myself See
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD

Enough Funny Myself Natural Reality Sound
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Courageous Defeat Failure Hero Himself Lost Man Sick
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Friendship Funny Home Ideas Man See Thrill Walk Yourself
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
NORM MACDONALD

Better Ignorance Knowledge Philosophy
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Identity Joke Myself Perfection
Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALD

Form Jealous Philosophy Sweet

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Norm MacDonald Quotes