Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALDI don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALD