In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALDA great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD