The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALDThey say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALD