Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALDMany frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD