There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALDMany frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD