Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALDMany frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD