A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
NORM MACDONALDMany frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD