A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALDAll that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD