This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALDHe that searches for praise will often find contempt.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD






