Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDSome people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD