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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?

Mitch Hedberg

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
MITCH HEDBERG

Crazy Dance Funny Humor Yourself
Here’s a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.
MITCH HEDBERG

Air Funny Humor Problem
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, “Dude, you have to wait”.
MITCH HEDBERG

Alcohol Funny Humor Wait Wine
I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
MITCH HEDBERG

Animal Comedian Food Funny
I don’t wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Watches
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?
MITCH HEDBERG

Cloud Stupidity Wrong
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.
MITCH HEDBERG

Dream Funny Life Sex
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
MITCH HEDBERG

Depression Funny Sports Wall
When it comes to racism, you hear people say, “I don’t care if people are white, black, purple or green.” Hold on, now, purple or green? Come on now, you gotta draw the line somewhere.
MITCH HEDBERG

Color Funny Humor Oppression People
Why are there no “during” pictures?
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Photograph
I was walking down the street with my friend and he said ‘I hear music,’ as though there’s any other way to take it in. ‘You’re not special. That’s how I receive it too, I tried to taste it, but it did not work’.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Music Philosophy
I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor People
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
MITCH HEDBERG

Drug Funny Humor
I love my fed-ex guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he don’t even know it…and he’s always on time.
MITCH HEDBERG

Funny Humor Love
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
MITCH HEDBERG

Eat Funny Humor Lake
If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.
MITCH HEDBERG

Animal Funny Humor Running

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?

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Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?

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