Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLINI personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLIN