“When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.”

You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.

My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

If you can’t be direct, why be?

There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Remember we’re all in this alone.

Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.

Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.

In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.

I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.

No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned. A man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company.

You won’t believe what you can accomplish by attempting the impossible with the courage to repeatedly fail better.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Every man ought to be in love a few times in his life, and to have a smart attack of the fever. You are better for it when it is over: the better for your misfortune, if you endure it with a manly heart; how much the better for success, if you win it and a good wife into the bargain!

Maybe water is not entirely lost when soaked into sand. Maybe it finds a better resting place to call home; and I hope she did too.

It’s better to look at the sky than live there.

Better hope deferred than none.

Better to make a good future than predict a bad one.