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We’d all like to vote for the best man but he’s never a candidate.

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Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
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A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
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My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
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One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
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Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.
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Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
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If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.
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No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
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The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.
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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
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Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
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Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
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If at first you do succeed don’t take any more chances.
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The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.
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When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I’m wrong.
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