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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.

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Enjoyment Fast Funny Life

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Humor Husband Marriage Myself
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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Cook Food Man Marriage Responsibility Sex Woman
Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
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Hard Time Remember Revenge Survive
A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year – and has yet to receive a Mother’s Day card from one of them.
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Animal Born Mom Oneself
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
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Advice Myself Race Run Yourself
With age comes wisdom. You don’t need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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Age Female Need Wisdom Yourself
Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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Age Hard Move Old Target
Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Advice Feeling Goodness Mindset Thinking Wisdom Yourself
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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Choice Law Wife Woman
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.
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Enjoyment Philosophy Yourself
I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Enough Myself Open Opportunity Smart
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
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Alive Bad Care Enjoyment Goodness Life Myself
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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Cry Different Funeral Myself Sound
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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Body Memories Myself Women
Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Age Breathe Funny Happiness Inspiration One Liner
I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, ‘Let me help you with those buttons’ and I told him, ‘I’m completely naked’.
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Body Husband Marriage Myself Naked Night Sex

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